Am I saying yes?

This has been a crying week so far. I don’t know if it’s the post-travel blues or postpartum hormonal shifts or what, but I have been emotional the past few days. Do you ever have those days? You know, when everything just makes you cry (or sob uncontrollably).

Theo cooed and smiled at me. I cried. 
I watched the series finale of Once Upon A Time. I cried. 
I picked Emma and Henry up early from school and they were so happy to see me. I cried.
Dinner was ready and on the table for Paul when he got home after a stressful day at work. I cried.
I made a carrot cake (from the box) and it was so beautiful. I cried.

Lots of happy crying. 
But there was some of the other kind of crying too.

I stared at the face of my precious baby and thought about returning to work in the new year. I cried. Then sobbed.
I thought about my beautiful friends who wish they had babies in their arms. I cried.
I made a list of who still needs Christmas gifts in the family and I thought about those who would not be with us this year. I cried. 
I read a testimony of what is going on at the border and all those seeking refuge to be turned away and turned into villains instead of being seen as human beings seeking a better life. I got angry and also cried.
I heard about a white male rapist getting a fine and a slap on the wrist and a woman of color and victim of sex trafficking getting over 50 years of prison. I cried at the injustice.

There has been a lot of crying.

But on this day of our patroness — Our Lady of Guadalupe — I am reminded of her YES. Her big YES and her daily little yeses to the will of our Lord. Her entire existence as the handmaid of the Lord is making me reexamine my own.

Am I saying YES?

Will I say yes to my children when they need more love and patience instead of anger and exasperation? 

Will I say yes to my husband when he needs my partnership and gratitude instead of annoyance and nagging?

Will I say yes to my family when they need my emotional presence instead of rushed conversations?

Will I say yes to my community when I serve them with empathetic care instead of judgmental superiority?

Will I say yes to my fellow mothers as they flee their homelands with their babies in arms instead of willfully ignoring the human rights injustices?

So on this Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, I pause to reevaluate how I am saying yes to the will of the Lord. I am sure to cry more. But let us use this emotional fuel to respond to His call and keep saying yes.