Life

On interracial marriage

I come from an interracial family and I am tremendously proud of that fact. My father is Filipino and was born in the Philippines and my mother was born in the United States with her ethnicity being many generations American South but also English, Hungarian, and {what was once} Bohemian. That makes me very mixed-race indeed.

1985 | 2011

Growing up I never really thought twice about being a mixed-race individual. I knew that my sister and I looked a little different than our cousins on either side, but it never occurred to me that I was mixed. It was only when I reached high school did I realize that I did not fit into any one ethnic mold and even then it never bothered me. My parents raised us to be accepting of any and all kinds of people. We were taught to look past race, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and any other social identifier that might make someone “different” {thanks Mom and Dad!}.

Although we were taught to treat everyone equally and with respect, we did not always get the same treatment. My mom said that when she used to take us out as children, people would always ask her from which country she adopted us. People also would tell me it was “weird” that my mom was the white one and my dad was the Filipino one, because apparently it should be the other way around?? And although I never experienced outright discrimination, we definitely got many a raised eyebrow over the years. 

So I always get a little passionate when people harp on “traditional” families. Come on, there is no such thing as a traditional family. Who is anyone to say that a family is not the right kind of family or that there is a cookie-cutter mold that families should fit in. Single parents, interracial families, same-sex couples, grand parents or aunts and uncles helping to raise the children, adoptive families, step families – all have one thing in common and that is FAMILY {okay I’ll step down off my soap box now}. 

This cheerios commercial is almost a year old, but it is one of my favorites. But when it first aired, it got a lot of negative feedback! I was absolutely shocked when I heard that people were disgusted by the fact that the mother was white and the father was black {they even had to disable the YouTube comments section}. A group called Fine Brothers Productions showed this commercial to a bunch of kids who all laughed and thought that the little girl in the commercial was adorable {because she is} and then were completely baffled when the interviewer told them that some people did not like the commercial. The children could not even comprehend that people found the commercial offensive. They thought it was just plain stupid that people got mad about it. This gives me great hope in the next generation of youngsters.

At the end of the day, we are just your average American family. We eat way too much food during the holidays, we play games together {and get a little competitive}, we watch a lot of TV, we support one another, we fight with with one another, we laugh together, we cry together, we love one another unconditionally, and we get a little weird sometimes. What matters is that we are a family, not the color of our skin. I married a Swedish/German man and my sister’s longtime boyfriend is Mexican. We are a beautiful melting pot of a family. 

I love this bunch of weirdos more than words can say.

Are you from a “non-traditional” family? What are your views on the evolving image of family?

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Life 365 | Week 8

Is it Monday again already? Wowza. Last week was pretty mellow but I did have another ultrasound, which was very exciting! She is growing and blossoming and I cannot wait to meet her. Today, I am sharing last week’s photos for Life 365.

17 :: Our friend bought us some fresh rosemary focaccia bread from an Italian artisan shop so Paul and I shared a lovely charcuterie and cheese snack on our day off. I always love when we can have a lazy three-day weekend.

18 :: I cannot get enough milk lately. And you know what goes well with milk? Cookies - circus animal deliciousness to be exact. 

19 :: I like to take pictures of Paul while he’s busy working. He has the cutest concentration face. 

20 :: I am loving my new rose gold pavé infinity necklace from Jewel Mint. It is just so delicate and feminine. 

21 :: Three words - Thai iced tea. Delicious!

22 :: {Largest photo} Paul and I spent all day Saturday at our birthing class. We sure learned a lot! Paul got a little sweaty and nervous for the birthing videos but I know he’s going to be an amazing support person for me during labor. 

23 :: Yesterday I had some prenatal pampering with a glorious 90-minute massage and a soothing facial. My body is going through the ringer, so I deserve a little TLC. 

This week, I will be pretty busy in clinic! Can you believe it’s almost March?

Have a happy week my friends.

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The secrets to our happy marriage

The lovely Joelle recently wrote about the four secrets to her happy marriage so I was inspired to reflect on my own marriage. What is so beautiful about marriage is that each one is unique and each is constantly evolving.

During this month of love, I am reminded of how grateful I am to have this special man in my life as my husband, partner, and friend and while our marriage is far from perfect, it is ours and it is special. So here are the five secrets to our happy marriage.

1 // HONEST COMMUNICATION. Nothing is off-limits, taboo, or too much. We can talk about anything without fear of judgement or abandonment. While we are free to communicate openly and honestly, we avoid below-the-belt or mean-spirited comments. Sometimes we lose our tempers and say things we don’t mean, but we are always able to talk it out and resolve our issues with a hug and a kiss. Sometimes we put tougher conversations on hold so we can clear our heads, regroup, and come back with calmer hearts. Although I don’t always like what I hear, Paul can always speak honestly with me and vice versa. We definitely are not the kind of couple to tip-toe around harder topics. We don’t let things simmer under the surface or let things build up. We dive right in, lay it all out on the table, and work it out. This style may not work for everyone, but it works for us. 

2 // UNDERSTANDING NEEDS. This one is connected to our open communication. We know the needs of the other because we are willing to share those needs in the first place. I know Paul’s needs and he knows mine and if things change, we talk about it. For example, I know that Paul needs a few moments in the morning to wake up before I bombard him. He gets overwhelmed without a little wake up time. I make sure I don’t start up with to-do lists or anything before he’s ready. He knows that I need things to be ordered and organized or I get anxious. He respects my need for things to be put back where they belong and to make sure rooms are tidy before we head out the door and before we go to bed. Sometimes we need space and we don’t take it personally when the other needs to decompress in another room or take a trip to a coffee shop or tennis court. 

3 // STAYING ACTIVE. Couples who play together, stay together, or so they say. While I’m not moving quite as fast as I once was {attributed to the tiny human growing inside me right now}, we have always been an active and playful couple. We have always enjoyed playing tennis and other games together. We enjoy running, hiking, tossing a football around, dancing, and taking walks. We play a lot of cards and board games together too. We encourage one another to have healthy lifestyles and we believe it’s important to get some fresh air together. 

4 // FAITH. Paul and I both have strong faiths. I am Catholic and he is non-denominational Christian and we both have a tremendous love for God and Jesus. We pray together, count our blessings together, and go to church together. We have both found churches we like in the city and alternate the places we go. He also agreed to get married in the Catholic church {which was very important to me}. We respect one another’s differences, but share an important foundation which strengthens our marriage. 

5 // SHARING RESPONSIBILITIES. Paul is an extremely active and involved husband. I like that we each have our strengths in the home. I usually do the cooking and he usually does the dishes. I clean the bathroom and he does the vacuuming and dusting. I keep track of appointments and engagements and he pays the bills. What is even more wonderful is that neither of us expects the other one to do these things, we do them to mutually take care of our home as a team. We also know when the other one just needs a break and we pick up the slack for the other. If Paul has had a long day at work, I will make dinner and clean up the kitchen afterwards. If I need a pick me up, he will make the bed, straighten up the house, and draw me a bath before starting on his own duties. We each participate in the running of our home actively and without resentment. I have no doubt that once the baby comes, he will be even more active in the household duties while I’m feeding the little one. 

These are our secrets {and they are not even really that secret}. It’s more like these are a few of our techniques to a happy marriage. This is what we actively do to foster partnership in our marriage. But we are always a work-in-progress and there is always room for growth and improvement. We are up to the challenge - the beautiful challenge and blessings of marriage. 

What are your secrets to your happy marriage?

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Life 365 | Week 7

Happy President’s Day everyone! This past week has been quite eventful. My oral medicine rotation kept me really busy and it was very interesting to see a different specialty in dentistry. Paul and I spread out the Valentine’s Day festivities the whole weekend too. It has been nice spending time with my husband. We also hit the seven months pregnant mark! Oh my goodness. Breathe

10 :: This man. Swoon

11 :: Seven months! Look at that belly grow. It’s amazing to think that the baby still needs to double in weight. I already feel like a stuffed turkey. 

12 :: I saw this cute sign hanging in the oral medicine clinic. 

13 :: I am basically living in leggings and flats. Thankfully, Paul and I did some shopping on Saturday for maternity clothes. Now I have more than 3 things that still fit me.

14 :: Happy Valentine’s Day! This bump looks good in red. 

15 :: My appetite has definitely increased. I’ve been trying to load up during breakfast. Fried eggs on toast, avocado with sriracha, sliced oranges, espresso, and carrot juice - YUMMY! 

16 :: Funny faces! He’s so cute.

I have another ultrasound tomorrow to make sure the baby’s growth is right on track. I can’t wait to see her little face! I’m also starting a new blogging series tomorrow, so stay tuned. 

Have a great week everyone!

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Happy Valentine's Day / 2014

Happy day of LOVE! This is one of my favorite days of the year. I have always loved this holiday. I know that some people think this holiday is all about the greeting card and chocolate companies, but I really have a special place in my heart for this day of the year. I hope you all get to spend today with people you love. 

This year, I wanted to spend some extra time talking about the wonderful man in my life. He is my husband, best friend, lover, confidant, and now the father of my unborn beautiful child.

Although I am looking forward to the next chapter in our lives, this is our last holiday just the two of us so I want it to be extra special and romantic. I fall more and more in love with this man each day of my life. Just when I think my heart is full to burst, he reminds me of how incredibly blessed I am to be sharing my life with him. He is the king of small and daily gestures and he still gives me butterflies.

Back in 2008 when we first started dating.

Valentine’s Day 2011.

Our wedding day.

Expecting our first child.

:: I love the way he provides for me.

:: I love the way he always throws an arm out before crossing the street to make sure I’m safe.

:: I love the way he tells me I’m beautiful.

:: I love the way he brings me my favorite treats. 

:: I love the way he snuggles up to me in the middle of the night.

:: I love the way he loves God. 

:: I love the way he takes care of himself.

Our relationship has grown into something incredibly beautiful. We were just kids when we started dating and now we are expecting our first child. I am tremendously blessed to have him.

I love you my darling. 

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