When they say, “hit the books” do they really mean “hit yourself in the head with books” until you blackout? Because that’s how I am feeling right. about. now.

Check out that shapeless blue gown sexiness. Meow.

I take part two of my dental boards next week and I am still hard at work fitting the entire field of dentistry in my noggin. I can quote the entire series of Friends, I can remember what outfit I wore to my Junior prom, I can remember that one thing Paul did that one time four years ago. But for the life of me, I cannot remember all the different types of dental cements and what are the exact signs and symptoms for every oral disease on the planet. Oy vey.

Here are all the things I would rather be doing than studying for boards:

1. Have a piece of broccoli stuck between my two front teeth all day.

2. Have an itch on my upper back that I cannot reach.

3. Poke myself in the head with my bobby pins.

4. Miss the last two minutes of The Bachelor.

5. Run out of coffee creamer at 6 am.

6. Clean up an Emma blowout.

7. Burn my palate on hot pizza cheese.

8. Listen to Rebecca Black’s Friday on repeat. 

9. Eat a brown avocado.

10. Drop my cell phone on my face while texting in bed.

But alas…

Back to it. 

Good thing I have my Hogwarts mug.