Frenemies and a fitness funk

Okay, ya’ll I am going to admit something.

I think the phrase diet and exercise should be considered a dirty phrase. Like, gag me with a spoon.

Let me take a step back. About two weeks ago, I made the decision to stop pumping during the day and move to only breastfeeding at night on demand and when Emma is fussing/sick. I realized that I was producing so little milk when daytime pumping that when I finally divided it up into her bottles for daycare, it was like a splash - a smidgen, a tidbit - of BM into her formula. I decided that it was not worth the time and energy spent trying to find pumping spaces while busy at clinic all day for that amount of milk. I much prefer the bonding aspect of breastfeeding than the actual milk production part. 

You’re like, “Oh Lord, is she done talking about breastfeeding yet?” 

Well after I said farewell, peace, and blessings to my dear friend the pump, I had an epiphany. 

Damn, now I need to start watching what I eat.

I know when you are pregnant and breastfeeding you’re supposed to have a “healthy diet” and “eat healthy foods” and blah, blah, blah but what pregnancy and breastfeeding meant to me was GIVE ME ALL THE FOOD.

I also pushed regular exercise off my “to-do list” and moved it to my “haha, you’re hilarious to-don’t list”. Call it a fitness funk, if you will. I also haven’t thought about the calorie content, fat percentages, carb load, and sugar saturation of any food item that has entered my pie hole in like one million decades. Well, since before the bun started baking in the oven.

Diet is a four-letter word. And portion control is my frenemy. 

Welp, no matter how many tantrums I throw or how much I protest, I need to get my couch-warming bottom up and moving and get my portion sizes down to normal human consumption. 

Side note, God bless the breastfeeding calorie burn. I will miss you more than I miss maternity stretchy leggings. 

You’re like, “How are we not at the end of this post yet? END PLEASE.”

I know you were so looking forward to my awkward bathroom mirror selfie. You’re welcome. 

I have put it in my mind to get my ish together in the *shiver* diet and exercise *gag* department. I have a food and fitness tracker app front and center on my phone, set a daily steps goal, and actually weighed myself *gasp*. I set a daily calorie goal and a weekly fitness goal and am ready to stay accountable, hence the oh so flattering selfie, rolls and all. 

And of course, I mean my belly jelly rolls and not the buttered rolls that I wish I was eating right now. 

That means a lot more meal prep at home, portion control, getting my butt out of bed earlier to squeeze in some yoga in the mornings, skippity doo dah-ing to the gym, and keeping accountable. 

Ugh, I need to clean my mirror. 

Any who, I hope you’ll support me in these goals o’ mine. Thanks buds.

Samantha out. 

13.WHATTTT

On Sunday, I ran my third half marathon. Three years ago, if you would have told me that I would run even half that I’d tell you no way. If you would have told me that I would have run that while pregnant and even six months postpartum I would have told you that you were extra crazy girlfriend.

Well, you may still be cray cray, but I still did it. And truth be told, these have been some of the most fulfilling and rewarding experiences of my life. I feel like Samantha Warrior Princess. *punches a wall and rips a deck of cards in half* Okay maybe I shouldn’t be punching walls.

I wasn’t planning on running for a specific time this go-around. I just wanted to cross that finish line, get my Tiffany bling, and then jump into a bath of ice cubes. But about half-way through, I told myself to run it in under 3 hours and by George! I did it. Somehow. I’m still convinced little faeries had to pick me up carry me over those last few miles and that mountain at mile ten. Thanks magic faeries. I owe ya one.

So the sun was still playing hide-and-seek when I went downtown on Sunday morning. But somehow all of us fools runners were excited and full of energy as we lined up in our corrals.

This is the face of an insane person who decided to run 13.1 miles (without really training and carrying some extra baby chub of my own in my rear end).

YAY! Our group (oh hayyyy ladies) was finally able to cross the start line about 45 minutes after the official start. Basically Nike Women’s was telling us that the slow pokes should be in the back. That’s okay though. I would probably have gotten whip lash from watching the faster gals pass by me.

Any who, no matter the speed at which you run, it is a very empowering experience. The hills alone will test your willpower. Especially when all you want is a damn cookie and a nap and you stare up a San Francisco hill that might as well be called a summit.

My obligatory action shot. Oh hey, that sweat is just so attractive. At certain points I couldn’t tell if it was morning dew dripping down my front or my own sweat. I don’t really know if I want to find out that answer.

They really needed a sign that said “WE RUN BUT ALSO WALK A LOT AND ACTUALLY WISH WE WERE CRAWLING”. Where is my cookie?

Praise the sweet baby Jesus. Also, thank God for foggy mist which usually pisses me off to no end but kept me blissfully cool throughout this expedition. #allhailJesus

YOU MADE IT!* (*with or without your legs still intact.)

Not bad for a baby mama who hasn’t seen the good side of a night’s sleep since 1995.

LET'SBEHONEST. I was only there for the bling. Oh hey there gorgeous.

2012 || 2013

2014

I don’t believe that I will be running the Nike Women’s Half Marathon next year because I don’t really know where I’ll be yet after graduation. But I know that I will run this race again. This race and Nike Women’s will always have a special place in my heart. 

What do you think, Disney Half next? If you need me, I’m still limping over there.