Life

Realizations

in
Realizations

During a recent prayer time, I was quietly fuming. I sat in front of the Blessed Sacrament and was just angry. I was spewing out frustration, anger, hurt, and a myriad of other unpleasant emotions.

My prayer journaling became more scribbly with too many exclamation points. And “WHY??????”s. But in all His goodness and patience. He just let me rage and spew.

One particular part of what has been on my heart is how I’ve been managing my day-to-day grind. And by managing, I mean NOT MANAGING. The daily to-dos and work and child raising has been particularly challenging lately. My anxiety has been through the roof and I’ve been struggling with cooling my temper, modulating my reactions and responses, and showing up with love for my family.

In my rage and frustration, I threw it back at God.

Why have you called me to motherhood and public health if I’m just going to break under the pressure of it all and fall short again and again?!

Short temper. Check.
Eye rolling. Check.
Spiraling. Check.
Crying. CHECK.
Numbing. Check.
Self-loathing. Double check.

But again, in His love and perfection, He threw it back to me.

Samantha, instead of reacting, just pray. Stop what you’re doing in that moment and pray. Stop spiraling. Start praying.

Read More

At the zoo

in
At the zoo

Theo turned one on Saturday and we had a simply wonderful weekend. My mom was in town to celebrate with us and it was equal parts fun and relaxation, excitement and calm. It was the perfect birthday weekend.

Theo tried his first piece of cake (in the form of a vanilla cupcake) and on Sunday we went to the zoo. We have a family membership to our local zoo and it is always a hit when we go. There is this fantastic gondola that takes you high above the trees and overlooks Oakland, Alameda, and out to San Francisco. The kids played and watched the animals and we just enjoyed one another. I am just happy, that is all!

And on to photos!

Read More

Big things and small things

in
Big things and small things

IT’S RETREAT WEEK.

In case you did not sense it, I am very excited to go on my retreat this weekend. I will be flying to see my beautiful friends as we get some much needed rest and spiritual renewal. IT’S RETREAT WEEK! A;JSDLKJF!

Any who, last week was full of big things and small things. It’s funny, something seemingly small like a kiddo getting dressed by himself or a baby signing “more” or a proud kindergartner showing off her desk are actually huge. My children are growing and thriving before my eyes and I could not be more grateful to be their mother. At the same time, as they grow, it seems like I’m being stretched in more directions. They all need me, all the time, even when they don’t think they do. It’s the conundrum of motherhood.

I felt a sense of peace wash over me the past week. I feel like I managed all the ups and downs of the week with my sanity (and a little grace) intact. I am grateful.

So today - I am grateful. And I just wanted to share that.

But on to the juicy stuff. Or the mundane stuff, depending on how you look at it. My gauge of what is interesting is limited to what’s the latest in the dental journal and what is going on with my kids sleeping patterns, ha!

Read More

Smile!

in
Smile!

I have realized that my weekly planner posts have somewhat turned into weekly updates/seven quick takes. Although, you know me, nothing I write is quick as I can be quite wordy. But, mama is stuck in her over-use of adjectives adverbs way.

On to it!

1) Last Monday was Labor Day and Paul and I both had work off. We spent the day lounging and playing then we slipped away to dinner. We went to this mall that is about 30 minutes away from us just for a change of scenery and they had a lego store AND a Nordstrom . You know what that means…

…we made some purchases at the lego store and Nordstrom. I’m nothing if not predictable. I used to go to Nordstrom a lot in college and dental school and oh how I’ve missed it. But my wallet has not.

2) Any who, we had another busy week even though it was a short one. I went up a level in my adult ballet class, I am now officially in the beginner class and not the introduction class. I feel myself becoming stronger and more graceful. It is one of the highlights of my week for sure.

3) Emma started her pre-ballet class for five year-olds Saturday. She was so excited to start and I am excited that her tights, leotard, and ballet slippers still fit because she definitely had a growth spurt this summer. Emma also started faith formation for the first time today and she was nervous but I am grateful for our parish’s faith formation program. I cannot wait for the kids to know the Lord and the church more fully as they grow.

Read More

Hi September!

in
Hi September!

Happy September the first, I hope your trunks are packed as you head to the Hogwarts express. Or if you’re not en route to Hogwarts, happy regular first day of September. But today is fun because I’m going to show you my Sept monthly spread and last week’s and this week’s spreads and here are some seven “quick” takes.

1) Okay listen, last Sunday, I was typing out a very lengthy seven quick takes/planner week 35 post and DUH DUH DUH something happened with my computer and/or the inter webs and I lost the post. I was so frustrated that I slammed the lid of my laptop shut and sulked like a giant baby.

I’m over it. Clearly.

But as there is no use crying over spilled milk (regular milk, not breast milk because you should cry over that) and no use in crying over lost blog posts, here I am with a new post that will hopefully get to your eyeballs.

(I’ll just periodically save this post just in case.)

2) Last week was insanely busy, in fact, I had a seven day work-week. (Lest you think, I’m a big whiner… dentists typically/traditionally have a four day or fewer work-week because of the high burnout potential. It’s a very physical profession. If you didn’t know that, maybe I’ll punch out a day in the life of a public health dentist post soon. Would anyone want to read that? But, I took an all-day continuing education course last Sunday, had my normal five days, which in and of itself is a lot, then had to go into work yesterday because a doctor called in sick last minute and all of my other doctors were not available.)

WHEW. But I’m going to try to relax today. That is after I corral my kids during mass which truthfully is a work out let me tell ya. And now you probably think all I do is complain so let’s get to the good stuff!

3) I have been looking forward to September since last September because this month is the Blessed Is She writer’s retreat! It’s one of my fav weekends of my year. It’s insanely restorative and life-giving and I just love my girls and Jesus. Last year I was a million weeks pregnant and apparently, you’re not allowed to fly if you have a baby near crowning so I missed the retreat and was super bummed about it. I have high FOMO.

But I am gearing up to travel to the writer’s retreat and I’m going to be giving so many hugs.

Read More