Thoughts

Action packed

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Action packed

Is there a word or term for being busy by purposefully making oneself Not Busy? Well, that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Trying hard to stay unbusy. Busy-free. Busyless?

What.

Mostly, that means spending time with my family and avoiding over-committing. That means unplugging from social media and reading more. That means—dare I say it—mindfulness. I’ve been taking stock at what fills my days and where I expend emotional energy. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot on my plate. By nature of working full-time out of the home and raising four kiddos, my days are filled. But when I have the opportunity to make a choice to how I spend my time and on what I spend my energy, I’ve had to do some soul-searching.

Something I’ve noticed during my time in therapy and in reflective prayer, I tend to cope by withdrawing. I put my headphones in and shut down. So it takes conscious effort and daily practice to lean into the discomfort, the messiness, the chaos. But it’s been fruitful. It’s been joy-filled.

Have I been overwhelmed by this new-found focus? Yes. Have I been happy every minute of it? Nope. But it’s yielded something good. And I’m looking forward to exploring this more.

And what does this all look like in practice? Well, I’ll show ya.

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Realizations

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Realizations

During a recent prayer time, I was quietly fuming. I sat in front of the Blessed Sacrament and was just angry. I was spewing out frustration, anger, hurt, and a myriad of other unpleasant emotions.

My prayer journaling became more scribbly with too many exclamation points. And “WHY??????”s. But in all His goodness and patience. He just let me rage and spew.

One particular part of what has been on my heart is how I’ve been managing my day-to-day grind. And by managing, I mean NOT MANAGING. The daily to-dos and work and child raising has been particularly challenging lately. My anxiety has been through the roof and I’ve been struggling with cooling my temper, modulating my reactions and responses, and showing up with love for my family.

In my rage and frustration, I threw it back at God.

Why have you called me to motherhood and public health if I’m just going to break under the pressure of it all and fall short again and again?!

Short temper. Check.
Eye rolling. Check.
Spiraling. Check.
Crying. CHECK.
Numbing. Check.
Self-loathing. Double check.

But again, in His love and perfection, He threw it back to me.

Samantha, instead of reacting, just pray. Stop what you’re doing in that moment and pray. Stop spiraling. Start praying.

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Big things and small things

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Big things and small things

IT’S RETREAT WEEK.

In case you did not sense it, I am very excited to go on my retreat this weekend. I will be flying to see my beautiful friends as we get some much needed rest and spiritual renewal. IT’S RETREAT WEEK! A;JSDLKJF!

Any who, last week was full of big things and small things. It’s funny, something seemingly small like a kiddo getting dressed by himself or a baby signing “more” or a proud kindergartner showing off her desk are actually huge. My children are growing and thriving before my eyes and I could not be more grateful to be their mother. At the same time, as they grow, it seems like I’m being stretched in more directions. They all need me, all the time, even when they don’t think they do. It’s the conundrum of motherhood.

I felt a sense of peace wash over me the past week. I feel like I managed all the ups and downs of the week with my sanity (and a little grace) intact. I am grateful.

So today - I am grateful. And I just wanted to share that.

But on to the juicy stuff. Or the mundane stuff, depending on how you look at it. My gauge of what is interesting is limited to what’s the latest in the dental journal and what is going on with my kids sleeping patterns, ha!

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Hi September!

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Hi September!

Happy September the first, I hope your trunks are packed as you head to the Hogwarts express. Or if you’re not en route to Hogwarts, happy regular first day of September. But today is fun because I’m going to show you my Sept monthly spread and last week’s and this week’s spreads and here are some seven “quick” takes.

1) Okay listen, last Sunday, I was typing out a very lengthy seven quick takes/planner week 35 post and DUH DUH DUH something happened with my computer and/or the inter webs and I lost the post. I was so frustrated that I slammed the lid of my laptop shut and sulked like a giant baby.

I’m over it. Clearly.

But as there is no use crying over spilled milk (regular milk, not breast milk because you should cry over that) and no use in crying over lost blog posts, here I am with a new post that will hopefully get to your eyeballs.

(I’ll just periodically save this post just in case.)

2) Last week was insanely busy, in fact, I had a seven day work-week. (Lest you think, I’m a big whiner… dentists typically/traditionally have a four day or fewer work-week because of the high burnout potential. It’s a very physical profession. If you didn’t know that, maybe I’ll punch out a day in the life of a public health dentist post soon. Would anyone want to read that? But, I took an all-day continuing education course last Sunday, had my normal five days, which in and of itself is a lot, then had to go into work yesterday because a doctor called in sick last minute and all of my other doctors were not available.)

WHEW. But I’m going to try to relax today. That is after I corral my kids during mass which truthfully is a work out let me tell ya. And now you probably think all I do is complain so let’s get to the good stuff!

3) I have been looking forward to September since last September because this month is the Blessed Is She writer’s retreat! It’s one of my fav weekends of my year. It’s insanely restorative and life-giving and I just love my girls and Jesus. Last year I was a million weeks pregnant and apparently, you’re not allowed to fly if you have a baby near crowning so I missed the retreat and was super bummed about it. I have high FOMO.

But I am gearing up to travel to the writer’s retreat and I’m going to be giving so many hugs.

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30 things in 30 years

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30 things in 30 years

Tomorrow is my birthday! But not just any birthday, my 30th birthday. 🤩

I am still trying to get my head around it but on the eve of my 30th birthday and as I say goodbye to my 20s, I’d like to reflect on some important things I’ve learned.

So without further adieu and in no particular order, here are 30 things I’ve learned in 30 years.

  1. Always save room for dessert.

  2. Don’t play games with people. Be honest and earnest.

  3. Hand written notes, letters, and cards are incredibly meaningful and you should write them often.

  4. You don’t have to explain yourself to strangers on the internet nor do you have to prove anything to them.

  5. No one has the right to your time, your body, your energy, or your skills.

  6. Replace your toothbrush every three months and floss every day.

  7. Advocate for yourself/your children to doctors. You know your body and your children better than anyone. Trust your gut.

  8. At minimum, have a signature meal you can whip up for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

  9. Always keep a special beverage on hand for celebrations.

  10. Carry a reusable water bottle around with you.

Keep reading for the rest of the list.

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