Substance and Soul

Three things in three years

LifeSamantha WetterholmComment

Happy 3rd Anniversary my honey bunches of oats! Thank you for loving me unconditionally (especially when I’m off my rocker). Here’s to a gazillion more.

It’s hard to believe that three years have passed since that stinkin’ perfect day back in 2011. We said our vows, we kissed, and we danced the night away. I may be a little biased, but that was one of the best weddings in the history of all weddings (well maybe more than a little biased). I can still picture Paul’s face as our eyes met and I walked down the aisle. Swoon.

Look at that goofy face.

So three years is not that long in the great scheme of things, but to us, it sure feels like a lifetime already (in a good way, I promise). Things are not always perfect, but they are wonderful. Besides the whole, thou shalt honor your husband/wife thing, there are a few things I’ve learned in the past three years which (I think) will help other couples out there. 

1 // BE SPECIFIC. This is a somewhat broad topic, but it sure does apply to a lot of things. Be specific in compliments. Say, your hair looks nice when you put it up like that or I love your smile when you laugh at my cheesy jokes. Just saying, you look nice is good enough, but being a little more specific makes it more special and really shows your spouse that you notice the little things, don’t cha think? Also, be specific in your requests, criticisms, etc. Say, I need you to help me take out the garbage or it hurts my feelings when you text at dinner. Being specific takes the guess work out so you can stay on topic and reach resolutions more quickly. Ambiguity is the enemy. 

2 // NO GENERALIZATIONS. This applies more to arguments and the tougher times. Saying “always”, “never”, or “not ever” is rarely true, and never helpful (hehe I said never, whoops). No, he doesn’t always do that and no she does not ever do things. That is too broad and leads to more problems. Trust me on this one, mmkay? 

3 // SERVE ONE ANOTHER. Marriage is a partnership and service is the center of it. Be giving and generous with one another. I love when Paul cleans the apartment when I am just too tired. He loves when I make him dinner and serve him a plate when he has to take work home with him. It’s all about serving your spouse in a completely selfless way. Key word here: selfless. Do not keep tally, do not be demanding, do not be resentful, do not do it with a frown on your face.

There are plenty of marriage lessons I’ve learned these past three years and a million more I need to learn. But that’s the beauty of it. AMIRIGHT? 

What are your marriage tips?

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