Marriage

Checking in!

Checking in!

If you have been following along here for a while, you may have noticed that it’s been quiet around here. This might have been the longest writing hiatus I’ve taken since I started blogging back in 2011 (?). Well, I’ve still been microblogging over at Instagram but I haven’t had the wherewithal to write here in a while.

It’s been a busy, hectic, stressful, anxiety-inducing, joyful, wondrous past few months. Ups, downs, and sideways. I want to try to fill you in on the highlights and lowlights, because I’m all about keeping it real and authentic (gag). 

But if you’re not in for a wordy post here is the tl;dr gist — The kids are good, I’m just okay, but I’m surrounded by support and love.

Now for the meaty bits.

The biggest news is that my anxiety has flared up. It’s been an exceptionally challenging few months. I finally reached out to a mental health provider to start on a plan to get better. I’m still searching for a therapist, but I took the first step in asking for help. Believe me, that was the most challenging part. My husband has been supportive, nurturing, and a true partner in all this. Due to my hectic work schedule and the demands of three small children, I wasn’t finding time for myself to decompress or destress. It finally caught up for me and after a few breakdowns, I said enough was enough. 

It’s still a process obviously and I haven’t found a therapist yet. But there is something cathartic in the initiation, in the beginning, in the relinquishing of my death grip on everything. Knowing and ADMITTING that I am not well and cannot do it on my own has been a first step in management and recovery. I’m no where near “better” (if there is such a thing) but I’ve been doing some things to help. 

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Dear Paul

Dear Paul

Thank you for loving me. Thank you for loving me even when I’m cranky. Thank you for loving me when I make it really hard on you. We don’t get to spend much alone time together these days. We are constantly on the move and with our three young children, we are deep in the chaos and throes of diapering, cleaning, and raising these precious and crazy humans. But, when we do get to spend time together, you make it memorable. You make me laugh, you make me feel beautiful, you love me harder and more fiercely with each day. I am sorry for when I ignore you or snap at you. But, I cannot imagine doing life with anyone else. You ground me. You love your family unconditionally. You are a rock. And I want the world to know it. Thank you for all you do for your family and thank you for loving us.

Your adoring wife,

Samantha

P.S. You’re really hot.

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Happy Birthday Paul

Yesterday, Paul turned 30 years old! It was a day of celebration. I had his favorite cakes sent to his work and we celebrated with some friends at one of his favorite restaurants. I am grateful for the gift that is his life. He is kind, generous, silly, loving, devoted, sexy, stubborn, passionate, committed, and completely wonderful. 

Happy 30 years of you.