Emma started kindergarten today!
I’m still crying. I’ll probably still be crying tomorrow. And this whole week. If you need me, look for the tissue delivery truck and follow it.
We have been talking about her start day (<— today!!) this whole summer and a lot this past week. She had a few breakdowns thinking about it because she said she was nervous. But yesterday and this morning she was much more excited.
She picked out her backpack and matching lunch box and selected her first day of school dress. She wore press on earrings and cherry chapstick and she was ready to take on the world.
Emma humored me with a photo session this morning and she is just phenomenal and I love her so much.
During drop off, she was glued to my leg and teared up a bit while we were settling her into her classroom, but as we peered in, she was loosening up and attentively paying attention to her teacher. I am so proud of her. I went to the PTSA welcome breakfast and cried some more while the principal and president of the PTSA told us of what to expect this year and how we can get involved. IMMA SIGN UP FOR EVERYTHING.
Read MoreIt’s Saturday afternoon and two out of three kids are napping, the sun is shining, and I am feeling content. It’s amazing because, this week was one of the busiest weeks for us in a while and I feel like I’ve been running on overdrive. But sitting here at my quiet kitchen table thinking back on this week, well I’m finally exhaling. My family has been my solace through the chaos of work and home life balance (whatever balance means anyway). I’m just grateful.
Now before I wax too sappy, here are some updates from this week.
1. Emma had her last day of preschool on Thursday. She started at this school when she was almost two and a half. And now, at five years old and fewer than two months from the start of kindergarten, she said goodbye to her first teachers and those whom shared the in the gift of raising her. I am grateful for the tremendous love and care she experienced there. I am emotional as we said goodbye but we still have Henry there and Theo will start in October. It takes a village, and I have loved this one.
Read MoreBefore having children, I used to think that preschool graduations were silly and unnecessary. Now that I have children, I’m like GIVE ME ALL THE ADORABLE KIDS IN CAPS AND GOWNS AND GIVE THEM TO ME NOW. Emma’s preschool graduation was yesterday afternoon and it was adorable, heart-warming, and moving. My sweet baby girl is heading to kindergarten soon and I am a ball of mushy emotions.
Emma carried the American flag during the processional and helped lead the pledge of allegiance. Her class sang a song, said a poem, and did a dance. Each student also said what they wanted to be when they grew up and they got little awards and diplomas. I was beaming with pride and gratitude. She has been exceptionally cared for and nurtured by her teachers at her school. They have taught her more than I could have wished and I know she is prepared for kindergarten.
(Read on for the photos and videos portion, you don’t want to miss it.)
Read MoreIf you have been following along here for a while, you may have noticed that it’s been quiet around here. This might have been the longest writing hiatus I’ve taken since I started blogging back in 2011 (?). Well, I’ve still been microblogging over at Instagram but I haven’t had the wherewithal to write here in a while.
It’s been a busy, hectic, stressful, anxiety-inducing, joyful, wondrous past few months. Ups, downs, and sideways. I want to try to fill you in on the highlights and lowlights, because I’m all about keeping it real and authentic (gag).
But if you’re not in for a wordy post here is the tl;dr gist — The kids are good, I’m just okay, but I’m surrounded by support and love.
Now for the meaty bits.
The biggest news is that my anxiety has flared up. It’s been an exceptionally challenging few months. I finally reached out to a mental health provider to start on a plan to get better. I’m still searching for a therapist, but I took the first step in asking for help. Believe me, that was the most challenging part. My husband has been supportive, nurturing, and a true partner in all this. Due to my hectic work schedule and the demands of three small children, I wasn’t finding time for myself to decompress or destress. It finally caught up for me and after a few breakdowns, I said enough was enough.
It’s still a process obviously and I haven’t found a therapist yet. But there is something cathartic in the initiation, in the beginning, in the relinquishing of my death grip on everything. Knowing and ADMITTING that I am not well and cannot do it on my own has been a first step in management and recovery. I’m no where near “better” (if there is such a thing) but I’ve been doing some things to help.
Read MoreExcuse me while I compose myself, because I’m sobbing like a baby. Well, not like a baby. I am sobbing like a mom. And you know what that looks like. It’s eyes filled to the brim while I gaze upon my little girl who is growing right before my eyes. I am smiling and crying at the same time. I am looking at this little four year-old but simultaneously seeing the little baby I used to hold in my arms and a young lady stepping further into independence.
Emma started ballet today. We have been talking about getting her into ballet since she was two. She has always enjoyed dancing and twirling. I could tell that she wanted to dance before she even formed complete sentences. It was important to me that this be her choice. I did not want to project some ideal of my own for wanting a little ballerina in the family. I waited until she kept asking and seemed serious about starting something she could claim as her own.
There is a local ballet academy that is considered to be more serious and structured in which I thought Emma would thrive and enjoy. And today, she started her first pre-ballet class and I am beaming with joy and pride and mom-sized emotions.
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