If you have been following along here for a while, you may have noticed that it’s been quiet around here. This might have been the longest writing hiatus I’ve taken since I started blogging back in 2011 (?). Well, I’ve still been microblogging over at Instagram but I haven’t had the wherewithal to write here in a while.
It’s been a busy, hectic, stressful, anxiety-inducing, joyful, wondrous past few months. Ups, downs, and sideways. I want to try to fill you in on the highlights and lowlights, because I’m all about keeping it real and authentic (gag).
But if you’re not in for a wordy post here is the tl;dr gist — The kids are good, I’m just okay, but I’m surrounded by support and love.
Now for the meaty bits.
The biggest news is that my anxiety has flared up. It’s been an exceptionally challenging few months. I finally reached out to a mental health provider to start on a plan to get better. I’m still searching for a therapist, but I took the first step in asking for help. Believe me, that was the most challenging part. My husband has been supportive, nurturing, and a true partner in all this. Due to my hectic work schedule and the demands of three small children, I wasn’t finding time for myself to decompress or destress. It finally caught up for me and after a few breakdowns, I said enough was enough.
It’s still a process obviously and I haven’t found a therapist yet. But there is something cathartic in the initiation, in the beginning, in the relinquishing of my death grip on everything. Knowing and ADMITTING that I am not well and cannot do it on my own has been a first step in management and recovery. I’m no where near “better” (if there is such a thing) but I’ve been doing some things to help.
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I’m not going to lie, this was one of the best Thanksgiving weekends ever. Our little five-some spent the four-day weekend in town and it was so special to cook a meal and share this holiday quietly in our own little home. I had a little anxiety throughout the weekend, but it was definitely manageable considering the immense joy of being surrounded by my family.
Paul had work off Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday! We got to have a leisurely lunch on Wednesday just the two of us (well, and our third wheel Theo). On Thursday, Paul let me sleep in (!!!) and then I cooked a Thanksgiving lunch for us. We shared sparkly beverages and Emma decided she loves cranberry sauce. Normally, I am not much of a leftovers person, but I ate the Thanksgiving food all weekend.
I gave Henry his first hair cut after nap on Thanksgiving and I cried a whoooole lot. But he’s so delectably cute so I’m okay now, I promise. On Friday, we cranked up the Christmas music jams and started decorating. Emma and Henry absolutely loved decorating our tree. They each were so meticulous about ornament placement. I did not put any of the breakable ornaments out this year because Henry tornado lives up to the name. Somehow we still managed to break some… oy vey.
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Now, I know there is a contentious battle between those who decorate for Christmas after Halloween and those who decorate after Thanksgiving. Growing up, my family would decorate for Christmas the day after Thanksgiving. We would decorate the tree, listen to Christmas music, and jump into the Christmas spirit, but we always waited until after Christmas.
But since having my own children, I wanted to place more focus on the Advent season leading up to Christmas and then keep the Christmas spirit going well after the stores put the decorations on the clearance shelf. Where does that put Thanksgiving and the remnants of autumn? Well, sometimes it gets pushed to the side.
So in honor of poor, forgotten Thanksgiving, I wanted to write down a few things I hope to do during the remainder of fall.
Spend a few hours in a tea shop reading books and having a pot of my favorite tea.
Sipping hot apple cider and going on an afternoon walk in our neighborhood.
Raking leaves and letting the kids jump in a big pile of them.
Making a Thanksgiving meal for our little five-some (well, Theo will be having milk from the tap).
Taking a family trip to Lake Tahoe.
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