Checking in!

Checking in!

If you have been following along here for a while, you may have noticed that it’s been quiet around here. This might have been the longest writing hiatus I’ve taken since I started blogging back in 2011 (?). Well, I’ve still been microblogging over at Instagram but I haven’t had the wherewithal to write here in a while.

It’s been a busy, hectic, stressful, anxiety-inducing, joyful, wondrous past few months. Ups, downs, and sideways. I want to try to fill you in on the highlights and lowlights, because I’m all about keeping it real and authentic (gag). 

But if you’re not in for a wordy post here is the tl;dr gist — The kids are good, I’m just okay, but I’m surrounded by support and love.

Now for the meaty bits.

The biggest news is that my anxiety has flared up. It’s been an exceptionally challenging few months. I finally reached out to a mental health provider to start on a plan to get better. I’m still searching for a therapist, but I took the first step in asking for help. Believe me, that was the most challenging part. My husband has been supportive, nurturing, and a true partner in all this. Due to my hectic work schedule and the demands of three small children, I wasn’t finding time for myself to decompress or destress. It finally caught up for me and after a few breakdowns, I said enough was enough. 

It’s still a process obviously and I haven’t found a therapist yet. But there is something cathartic in the initiation, in the beginning, in the relinquishing of my death grip on everything. Knowing and ADMITTING that I am not well and cannot do it on my own has been a first step in management and recovery. I’m no where near “better” (if there is such a thing) but I’ve been doing some things to help. 

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State of the Hive

State of the Hive

In honor of the new year, I thought I would write a family update. I am grateful for our health and for our cozy home on our little island. 2018 was full of big changes, events, and surprises. I know I am looking forward to the year ahead — with all its ups and downs, family, friends, and faith. I present to you the State of the Hive Address

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Love and service

Friday is usually my day off from work. I try to spend a portion of the day resting. But if I'm truthful, I usually spend the day on chores and errands. 

Today, I deep cleaned my bathrooms and kitchen. Hoooo boy did they need it. This season of our lives is tremendously busy so my weekly chore list often gets pushed to my day off. I used to grumble about using my day off for chores and for errands. 

Cue whiny voice: But it's MY day off, I should be RESTING, I have to do EVERYTHING. Wahh, wahh, wahh. 

Gag. I've just annoyed myself.

But lately, and since starting full-time work, I've had a change of mentality, nay, a change of heart. Instead of grumbling, I am eager. I get to serve my family, yay! 

Stay with me here.

I run errands, because my children need to eat. I wash the sheets, because my husband needs to rest his head on clean linen. I scrub. I clean. I vacuum. All because, I love the people whom I serve. My family. My husband serves me, I serve him, and we serve our children.

It's that simple. And often times I need that reminder. 

St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta is famously quoted saying, 

"Wash the plate not because it is dirty nor because you are told to wash it, but because you love the person who will use it next." 

Re-centering my motivation gives me peace in this service. 

And what if we approached everything with this mindset? Using love as our motivation -- not obligation, not coercion, not spite -- but love.

Talk about radical love. 


Christmas at the Hive

Happy New Year! *fireworks, champagne, and general merriment*

I actually made it to midnight to watch the ball drop and kiss my honey, which I definitely did not do last year with a five month-old.

This past week I worked so between the working, the children raising, the wife-ing, and the home-making, I am pooped! But, there is something so invigorating about new years. Turning the page and starting afresh (and all the cliché things) is incredibly freeing, don't you think?

Do you make new year's resolutions? I am always on the fence about making them. Do I set general goals? Do I make grand plans only to be disappointed if I don't check every box off my list? Still on the fence. 

But this year, in lieu of resolutions, I have decided to pray

Pray more, pray more often, pray longer, pray unceasingly. At the end of the day, my relationship with the Lord is only as fruitful as I am willing to lean on Him completely. I need to spend more time just sitting with him in the silence and letting Him speak to my heart. I don't know what that will look like yet, but I am excited to see what the Lord has in store for me this year.

And on a more practical to-do this year -- I hope to yell less. *nervous laughter* 

We spent Christmas at home. The new hive. OUR home. Waking up Christmas morning, celebrating the coming of Jesus as a wee babe, and spending the day soaking in Christmas beginnings with my family was, without a doubt, the best Christmas gift I've ever received. 

We gave the kids a few gifts and ate a few Christmas goodies (maybe more than a few). Paul and I did not exchange gifts because we decided the house would be our Christmas gift to one another -- for the next 30 years (am I right?). 

But before I bore you with a slew of Christmasy photos, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who has read this blog and supported me in my writing. It means more than you know. 

'Twas a beautiful first day of Christmas at the hive. 



From the hive

Well, well, well what do we have here? It's a blog post! (Hi mom.)

Considering there have been a few changes around the hive, I thought I'd pop in to give a little update.

The biggest change in our household is my job

As you may know, for the past year and a half I have been working part-time at a community dental center serving low-income patients. I was also working one day per week at private practice. Both positions are rewarding in their own ways. 

But recently, I was offered a full-time position at the community clinic and I enthusiastically accepted. And while I had to say goodbye to the lovely people at the private practice, I am tremendously excited about this opportunity for my family. 

In practice, I am only working one more day per week than I was previously. But the ultimate change comes in the form of benefits. 

I will now be able to receive vacation, education, holiday, and health benefits that were previously out of reach to me as a part-time employee. This will be a huge help to my family and to my peace of mind. 

Let's see, that was the biggest news, but here are some other tidbits 'roud these parts. 

Emma is thriving at school. She is pure energy and sass all rolled up into this incredibly tall and vivacious three year-old. While she tests me on the daily (hourly if I'm honest), I am in awe of her development. Henry will be one (ONE, WHAT?!) at the end of the month. And I'm kind of in denial. And I'm not crying, YOU ARE. He's also walking, teething, and pooping around the clock. Oy vey. 

Paul is my constant rock. This year he was promoted to Assistant Controller and while he is always busy, he manages to keep our house running with me. He's dreamy. 

Well, I imagine you are now wondering how you could have ever gone so long without an update from me. Well I apologize for my absence here, things are busy and buzzing in our hive. For daily updates, tickles, musings, and photos, pop over to my Instagram