Motherhood

Action packed

Action packed

Is there a word or term for being busy by purposefully making oneself Not Busy? Well, that’s what I’ve been up to lately. Trying hard to stay unbusy. Busy-free. Busyless?

What.

Mostly, that means spending time with my family and avoiding over-committing. That means unplugging from social media and reading more. That means—dare I say it—mindfulness. I’ve been taking stock at what fills my days and where I expend emotional energy. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot on my plate. By nature of working full-time out of the home and raising four kiddos, my days are filled. But when I have the opportunity to make a choice to how I spend my time and on what I spend my energy, I’ve had to do some soul-searching.

Something I’ve noticed during my time in therapy and in reflective prayer, I tend to cope by withdrawing. I put my headphones in and shut down. So it takes conscious effort and daily practice to lean into the discomfort, the messiness, the chaos. But it’s been fruitful. It’s been joy-filled.

Have I been overwhelmed by this new-found focus? Yes. Have I been happy every minute of it? Nope. But it’s yielded something good. And I’m looking forward to exploring this more.

And what does this all look like in practice? Well, I’ll show ya.

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Luca's Birth Story

Luca's Birth Story

If you have been following me on the gram, you’ll know that we welcomed our fourth child into the world on December 18, 2020. He’s such a joy and a cutie pie and it’s basically baby spam 24/7 over on my Instagram if you want to marvel at his squishy cheeks.

Having a baby around Christmas time is busier than I anticipated it to be, plus with living in a global pandemic, work, and school stuffs, I am finally sitting down to type out Luca’s birth story (monthsssss later, fourth kiddo problems). So cozy up with your favorite beverage, your phone, and get ready for a tale.

PER USUAL, I had prodromal labor with this pregnancy just like the others. The Braxton Hicks contractions started around 20 weeks and just did not let up until the little man emerged earth side. I think with work being especially hectic and stressful, my contractions started much earlier in the pregnancy. But knowing it was going to last a while, I just learned to live with it on the daily.

But rewind to November 2020. I decided that I would take a full 3-4 weeks prior to the baby being born to start my maternity leave. With the added stress at work and navigating online school for my daughter, I was especially worn out by 8 months of pregnancy. After the Thanksgiving holiday, I stayed home to prepare for the baby, help with Emma’s schooling, and “rest”.

AIR QUOTES.

Rest? Ha. Any who.

During the first week of December, we took a family trip to Lake Tahoe. We stayed at a little resort and enjoyed some time in the snow. Basically that meant the kids sliding on their butts down a tiny hill and watching lots of TV in front of a fireplace. My contractions were really picking up during our vacation and I was worried I’d go into full-blown labor four hours away from our hospital. I breathed through nightly contractions but had to remind myself to just chill out because I didn’t need to exhaust myself before the baby even came.

Chill out? HA! Any who.

On our way home from the trip, I had strong contractions. I even threw up from them. But by the time we made it home, they had calmed down. We unpacked and settled in for a longer wait.

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Theo at one year | Happy Birthday!

Theo at one year | Happy Birthday!

Mr. Theophilus is one year old today!

Hold me.

He is fearless, sassy, loving, and joyful. I’m not going to lie. When I found out I was pregnant with Theo, I was completely overwhelmed at the thought of three (!!!) children. But now that he has been earth side for this past year, I am convinced that he was always meant to be ours. He is a balm to my anxious heart. And I am completely in love with this boy.

Our Theo has four teeth, is a walking champion, loves to eat, and dances to any and all music.

He loves to play with Emma and Henry and always wants to be part of the action. He takes excellent naps but we are still working on the through the night sleeping. He will be starting at the same pre-school/daycare that Henry is at now in a week and we’ll be saying goodbye to our phenomenal nanny. But I am looking forward to only one morning drop-off for the boys.

Never did I picture myself with three children. I always knew I wanted children, but my love of dentistry was so deeply ingrained that I never pictured the family life sides of things. And now that I am over five years into parenthood, I know that this is what I’ve been put on this earth to do.

To love my husband, to raise these children, and try to get us all to heaven.

I am grateful that I was entrusted to raise them. Emma, Henry, and Theophilus are my heart walking around outside my body. And on this day of celebration, I am reminded again of how deeply I love them and how much I’ve been gifted in motherhood.

God bless you sweet Theophilus Sebastian on your first birthday. We love you!

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Theo at eleven months

Theo at eleven months

Theophilus is eleven months old!

Theo turned eleven months old a couple of days ago and that made me realize I HAVE LESS THAN A MONTH TO PLAN HIS BIRTHDAY PARTY…

…which will mostly consist of costco foods and drinks and people over at the house. I know, we are party animals.

Well, this was an eventful month. Theo has discovered that if he screams, he can get what he wants. He found that out before we did because we kept responding with hugs and kisses and ARE YOU OKAYs, but we’ve got his number. We’ve figured him out. Sneaky little thing.

Actually, he is not so little. He is a giant by baby standards. Well by my standards. He has huge feet and I am going to need to buy him SIZE 5 shoes soon. He is also fully into 12 month clothing and even then, the tee shirts are like crop tops.

He is also adventurous and truthfully, fearless. He’s going to make me nervous than the other two combined, and they are pretty wild too. He’s the play in the toilet, eat rocks, try to escape the house kind of kid.

He cut a couple more teeth this week and that means we didn’t sleep much this week. I think we’re going to try to transition him to one long nap per day instead of two, so wish us luck. Well, wish our amazing luck.

Theo is always on the move, always has a huge smile, and will always find ways to get into trouble. Happy eleven months baby boy.

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Kindergarten!

Kindergarten!

Emma started kindergarten today!

I’m still crying. I’ll probably still be crying tomorrow. And this whole week. If you need me, look for the tissue delivery truck and follow it.

We have been talking about her start day (<— today!!) this whole summer and a lot this past week. She had a few breakdowns thinking about it because she said she was nervous. But yesterday and this morning she was much more excited.

She picked out her backpack and matching lunch box and selected her first day of school dress. She wore press on earrings and cherry chapstick and she was ready to take on the world.

Emma humored me with a photo session this morning and she is just phenomenal and I love her so much.

During drop off, she was glued to my leg and teared up a bit while we were settling her into her classroom, but as we peered in, she was loosening up and attentively paying attention to her teacher. I am so proud of her. I went to the PTSA welcome breakfast and cried some more while the principal and president of the PTSA told us of what to expect this year and how we can get involved. IMMA SIGN UP FOR EVERYTHING.

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