Substance and Soul

I'm tired

MotherhoodSamantha Wetterholm2 Comments

Guys. 

I'm tired. 

I'm not talking about that physical tired from general parenting or working or existing. I'm talking about that fed up with that nonsense kind of tired. 

I'm tired of needing to defend myself or explain myself or justify this or clarify that.

I should not have to justify every action or choice Paul and I make when it comes to our family or our life styles or our priorities or schedules.

Why am I so tired? Well I guess it's one too many prying questions with a judgmental undertone (or quite frequently, a plainly judgmental tone). 

So who watches your kids while you're working?
So you're still breastfeeding? 
Oh, you co-sleep? 
So how much screen time does she get?
Oh, you buy baby food instead of making it?

Most of the time, these questions are asked quite innocently or due to genuine curiosity. But sometimes, the judgment just drips off their tongues a drooling puppy. 

I have gotten so used to laughing it off and responded in some kind of defensively sarcastic way that I don't even think about it anymore. 

Oh no one, they fend for themselves.
Yup, he's addicted to the boob.
Yeah we still haven't cut the umbilical cord so co-sleeping is our only option at this point.
We have glued the iPad to her face so, a lot I'd say.
Yeah I have stock in non-GMO, pesticide-rich Gerber products so I might as well. 

It's because I'm tired. My defense and sarcasm are exponentially related to the amount of tired I have. 

But let's try this folks. Instead of prying, try connecting. Instead of judging, try relating. 

Because at the end of the day, we are all doing the best we can aren't we? I may forget to bathe the baby but he is so loved. I may offer one too many bribes in the form of ice cream, but she is so happy. I may bark at my family when I've had a long day at work, but sometimes I get emotionally invested in my patients and am tapped out come dinner time. I may forget to answer that text message, but sometimes I just have to throw my phone at the bottom of my bag and forget about it for a few hours. 

Let's lift one another up, shall we?