Substance and Soul


MotherhoodSamantha WetterholmComment

Thank you for the tea girlfriend.

1. I genuinely hate the words wifey and hubby. I have no idea why. They just make my skin crawl.

2. I have an irrational fear of placing my hands on something sticky in public. If I know where the sticky mess came from (most likely my own child) then I am okay, but if I inadvertently brush something sticky either in liquid or solid form, I lose my sh**. 

3. One of my favorite times of day is when I can eat a bowl of cereal in peace. Whether it is squeezed in during nap time or while Paul is giving Emma a bath, I crave that bowl of sugar when I can decompress and focus on my damn marshmallows. 

4. I genuinely enjoy certain household chores and abhor others. I find cleaning the toilet cathartic but hate mopping. I love doing laundry but hate putting the clean laundry away. I think vacuuming is soothing but hate cleaning windows. I'm an odd duck.

She answers "no" to almost every question I ask. I had just asked her if she was hungry. She replied, "no". 

5. I spend an inordinate amount of time shopping for toiletries. I read and re-read descriptions and I smell every product before purchasing. I have been known to sit down in the beauty aisle of Target with 10 bottles of this and that strewn around me. Just maneuver that cart around me people, this is going to take a while.

6. I watch and re-watch my favorite TV shows over and over and over and over... FRIENDS, Gilmore Girls, Charmed, Bones, over and over and over... I never tire. 

7. I have at least four chapsticks in rotation around my house and will FLIP if one is moved. It has to be the ChapStick brand and it has to be the blue one with SPF. Currently there is one on my desk, one in the key bowl, one by my bed, and one in my purse. 

8. I am faithfully and consistently non-opinionated online. Do I have opinions? YES. I have my views and opinions about what is going on in the world socially, politically, economically, etc. I have my thoughts on various current events. Do I voice these opinions online? NOPE. I find that arguing with people in the comments section of a Facebook post tiring and pointless. But this gorilla business and subsequent mom bashing has me itching to comment. But alas, I won't. However, I will share this article which sums up a lot of what I am thinking nicely. 

She wakes us up at the crack o' dawn every morning. My face is usually her face and her face is usually my face. Freaky Friday. 

9. I dislike BUTTER people, especially when it comes to breastfeeding. You know the ones... "I support her but...", "I believe she has the right to breastfeed in public but...". Either you support a family in their breastfeeding journey or you don't. Period. Leave the butter for my toast. 

10. Shopping for infant clothing is my kryptonite. Seriously, I melt faster than a popsicle on the Fourth of July. TINY SHOES, OHMYGERD. TINY JACKETS, PUNCHMYFACE. ANYTHING WITH TINY ANIMALS ON IT, OMGDYING

Welp and just like that nap time is over and I am relegated to toddler entertainment duty. 

What are your confessions?